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I'm feeling lonely, PornDude! Hook me up with cheap local escorts near me!

So, you want some escort websites, eh? Well, from time to time, we all need something new in our lives, and to be more precise, we need a fresh woman (or trans girl?) to take us to higher grounds than our girlfriends or wives. Maybe we want to impress our co-workers and business partners with a luxury companion at a Las Vegas party, or do you want to have a relaxing vacation in Thailand? I recommend traveling to Bangkok, Phuket, and Pattaya for the girlfriend (or ladyboy) experience or for tourism!

Or are you just looking for an erotic massage with a happy ending? Tired of dating, got blue balls, you don't have a girlfriend, and you just want to meet and have a good time? No matter what you're after, my porn list will show you what you can do to obtain what you are looking for.

What kind of local female and pornstar escorts near me can I expect to find here?

Some of the hottest verified escorts and real high-class ladies available in your region near you. These are the best escort sites on the Internet for incall/outcall services. Ever been to Amsterdam, Prague, London, or Paris? Well, these ain't no cheap French hoes in clubs, pick up Czech hookers in brothels, Asian (TS) street whores in strip clubs, British backpage call girls(18+) in motels, sexy Thai prostitutes in go-go bars or Russian girls(18+) on craigslist.

They're either independent classy amateurs, or they have been cast and work for a discreet elite international escort agency. Either way, blondes, brunettes, or ginger redheads, you're going to pay a lot of money for their company and pleasure, but they'll fulfill all your dirty secret fantasies!

I have no rest, and every single second of my life is dedicated to porno and everything adult related. I've spent precious time looking online to find the most exquisite and popular places in 2024 filled with drop-dead gorgeous babes. You can expect beautiful Asian, Caucasian, Latina, Indian or black/ebony girls(18+), and shemales ready to answer your call and to get nasty for your own little private entertainment. And yes, if your wallet is big enough, even roleplay BDSM dominas, threesomes with identical twins, gangbangs with famous pornstars and sex with old fame celebrities are possible!

Most of them can be booked worldwide, and you can be sure they're all 18+.

What are the best escort sites in 2024?

Number #1 or not, every website on my collection has something special to offer, and trust me, it wasn't easy to find and add only the best ones. But I did it and to be honest; you don't need to thank me. Just visit them and have fun in a hotel room with one crazy hot and tasty babe.

Who knows, you might even find your favorite porn star doing this as a side gig. Make sure to rate and review your experience with these VIP girls services, after you're done with them, so other guys can read your testimonial.

PornDude, how much do these girls (18+) charge for their services?

Well, how much do you have in your wallet? Better yet, how much are you willing to part with to spend the evening or all weekend with the call girl of your dreams? Speaking in the broadest possible terms, you might be able to live out your fantasies for some pocket money, your whole paycheck or your life savings. I know that’s pretty fucking vague, but there are a lot of factors involved. How much does an escort charge? I don’t know, man—how long is a piece of string?

The escort directories on the list below have listings all around the world. You don’t have to be an expert on global economics to realize the prices are going to be different wherever you go. Hell, if you’ve seen my list of Best VPN Sites here at ThePornDude, you may have heard me talk about getting better prices on digital goods by pretending you’re in another country. Prices also vary like crazy even within the same nation, which you may have noticed if you ever bought a coffee while on vacation.

And we ain’t talking about coffee, now are we? You can have it black or white or anything in between, but at the end of the day, you’ll pay a lot more for a fetish fantasy with a high-end call girl than you will for a quick, basic visit with your run-of-the-mill escort. You can splurge on your splooging or you can look around for the better deal.

These sites take different approaches to their escort ads. Some of them keep everything intentionally vague from the prices to the services, while others get into specifics about both. Personally, I prefer the sites where they tell you up front what you’re buying and how much it costs, because it really cuts down on the guesswork, as well as the haggling that can happen before you meet up. This is one of the factors I discuss in my reviews, since I know it’s important for clients and customers alike. If you don’t want to read my full writeups, you can always skip to the quick pros and cons I’ve got listed at the bottom of each.

Do you want to become a professional escort?

Are you looking for a life of luxury without financial troubles or interested in earning some extra money? Are luxury holidays, flying with private jets, and driving with supercars your thing? You want to date successful men, millionaires, or celebrities, and you know how to seduce them? Then don't be shy and contact an escort agency on one of these sites or message me for some advice!

BedPage

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Bed Page! The Internet is a goddamn miracle. I know I spend a lot of time going on and on about how the web has ushered in a golden age of hardcore pornography, but the net’s got other things to offer us as well. You can buy a truck, get a band together, or find somebody to recover all that porn you thought you lost off your hard drive. People say the net separates and isolates people, but you can use it to chat up broads, get a date or find a hooker to slob your knob for a while. BedPage.com can help you do all of these things and more. It’s Like BackPage, but with Bed in the Name BedPage popped up on the web in 2018. It may have been brand fucking new, but the design was instantly familiar and recognizable. Johns who have been finding escorts online for a while knew what they were looking at without even being told. BedPage themselves spell it out with a number of pages linked in their footer: Alternative to Backpage, Best Sites Like Backpage, and New Backpage Personals. Each one features a lengthy spiel meant to convince you (and Google) they are, indeed, a replacement for Backpage. In case you were living in a cave or just weren’t keeping up on your Internet hooker news, the feds cracked down on Backpage not long before BedPage appeared. Craigslist, another longtime refuge for whores and their customers, decided to pussy out preemptively and removed their adult listings before anybody even said anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a woke angle with those dirty hippies, too. BedPage set out to be a full-fledged replacement for either, even though they only needed to be a replacement for the adult listings. I honestly think it’s funny as fucking hell that people are posting non-sexual listings on a site that was made specifically so people had a place to hire hookers again. The classified ads are broken up into a bunch of sections that have nothing to do with hooking up or paying for sex, but the Adult section is given a very prominent position on the page. It seems like the rest is window dressing, but people are using it, so what the fuck do I know? “Hey, man. I was thinking of listing some commercial property to rent and maybe finding somebody to attend my garden. Oh, and maybe hire a dominatrix to step on my balls for a couple of hours. You know any websites like that?”

Euro Girls Es

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What can you find at EuroGirlsEscort directory? Well, here's the deal: If you plan on traveling to Europe for the holidays and you want to get laid real quick, then you should totally head out and check Eurogirlsescort.com out. This website right here shows you every possible European offer that is available right now. Furthermore, all of the services of this website are completely free, so you don't have to worry about getting money out of your wallet, or in this case, the credit card. Furthermore, it is also worth mentioning that you won't be seeing many ads while you browse this little website right here. All in all, it's a neat little page that enables you to find only the best out of the best. Furthermore, you can also find a bunch of useful information on the escorts here, which is great. One very important thing that we all want to know about these escort sites is whether the information you're getting on these girls is valid. Of course, while you can never really be certain, I'll tell you right away that the things I got to see in here seem pretty god damn legit, to be quite honest. However, I suggest that you check every single post here out before agreeing to do anything with these gals.

SkipTheGames

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Skip The Games, as in "no foreplay, right to the action"? If you are anything like me, then you also get sick just sitting on your computer, fapping all day. There’s only so long that masturbation can sustain you during a dry spell. A man has needs, needs that porn sometimes can’t satisfy. Needs that no amount of pocket pussies or special lubricants can ever come close to relieving. Sometimes you just need the real thing, so how can skipthegames.com help with that? Okay, so you’ve decided that you’ve reached the point of no return. Your horniness levels are through the roof, and only one thing is going to solve it: some good old fashioned, real-life pussy. But maybe you don’t have the time to go out to the bars and try your luck. Or perhaps you’re sick and tired of playing the game of online dating with Tinder or OkCupid (sometimes trying to fuck on dating apps can require the same level of time and effort as trying to go out and get laid anyway). Well, if that’s the case, lucky for you, you can skip the games and get some pussy within the hour. That’s why God created escorts. So long as you have a couple of hundred bucks, you can get laid almost instantaneously. Just call up an escort at SkipTheGames and have her service you to fulfill your every desire. But now you’re faced with another challenge to overcome. With Backpage shut down, and Craigslist filled with nothing but scams, frauds, and police sting operations, how the fuck does one even go about finding an escort? Don’t give up quite yet, young padawan, just hop over to skipthegames.com to easily find escorts in your city.

Eros Guide

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Eros escorts! When’s the last time you got laid? A month ago? A year ago? Five years ago? Well, based on the fact that you’re reading this review about an escort index site, I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s closer to the latter. Maybe more, you fucking mofo. Or maybe you got some pussy just last week and you’re just that much of a fucking fiend. Who knows? Honestly, I could give a fuck less. As long as I’m getting my dick wet, that’s all that matters. Paying for sex is something that has a much worse reputation than it deserves. If you think about it, we all pay for sex – in one way or another. Whether you’re taking a girl out on a date in hopes of getting some pussy at the end of the night or you’re paying an escort outright, you’re still, in effect, paying for poon. At least with an escort, you don’t have to sit through an entire dinner, pretending to care about what she’s saying and having to be on your A-game. Who the fuck has the time or the energy for that? We’re all busy, maybe you travel a lot for work – there just isn’t a lot of time to go through all the motions. So, why not skip all the unnecessary steps and pay directly for a good fuck? Why not? Are you worried about what people are going to think of you? Who the fuck cares? Also, nobody’s going to find out (unless you tell them). So, just nut up and quit being a pussy about it. If you are going to grow some balls and order an escort tonight, you’ll definitely want to do a little bit of research first. You don’t want to invite some mystery person over to your place or hotel room having never spoken to her. You at least want to try and vet the girl the best you can. You don’t want to have a girl show up at your room only to find out that she’s a fatty with meth scars on her face, or – even worse – that she has a fucking dick! That’s why it’s crucial that you do at least a little bit of research before you order yourself an escort. Thankfully, though, there are plenty of great websites out there to help you and your pathetic little dick get some premium paid-for puss. Some sites even come complete with full in-depth reviews of the girls from guys who have spent time with them before. Reviews, however, are all too rare when it comes to these sites. And most of them are going to make you upgrade your account (read: pay) to access them. Even if an escort index site doesn’t have reviews of the girls, they should at least provide multiple pictures and some basic information about her. But before you even go to an escort ad site, you need to decide what stature of escort you are in the market for. There are, of course, varying degrees of quality in the girls you can spend time with. And, therefore, there are varying degrees of what the girls will cost you. So, do some quick budgeting, figure out what you can afford and what you are willing to pay based on the quality of the girl, and then you’re ready to decide what escort site will be right for you.

Slixa

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From the moment you land on Slixa’s home page, you can tell immediately that they mean business. The site’s design is elegant and minimalist. A white background supports the classic black text. It looks exactly as professional as you’d want the site on which you’re finding an escort to look. You can tell, right off the bat, that Slixa is not going to be for the guy who would’ve been looking on Backpage for an $80 an hour glorified streetwalker. Slixa is for the man of means who can afford an $8,000 night with a porn star (and who, frankly, would accept nothing less). First of all, all the girls I have seen on Slixa reflect this image. I mean, these girls are top-tier, cream of the crop classy ladies. You know, the kind of escorts a senator would get busted with. Supermodel hot with legs for days and tits and ass to boot. Just choose your city and get to browsing. Can’t find the girl you’re looking for in your city? No worries, many will fly to you. Hey, you’re on Slixa.com, you can afford it. Why not splurge a little? (And then splooge a lot).

ListCrawler

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List Crawler, Escort Alligator,...? Make up your damn mind! Some of us are just far too busy to be bothered with the online dating scene and then escorts are the only solution. Tinder or Bumble swiping for hours in the hopes of matching with a hottie in your city. The game playing that requires you to converse with a girl once you do find an acceptably attractive one. Having to sift through your matches, starting conversations that often never lead anywhere, in hopes of feeling out whether or not any of them are actually down to fuck. Note: most girls, even the sluttier looking ones on Tinder (the site known for cementing hookups), do not respond well to, “wanna fuck?” or anything along those lines. That means that, more often than not, when it comes to securing some no string attached pussy on any of these dating apps or sites, you are going to have to put in some unwanted time and effort. You have to at least put the thought into flirting with her a little bit before you propose that she come over your place. Or, even worse, you may have to go through that age-old charade of taking her out for dinner and/or drinks before she’ll even consider sleeping with you. If you have a full-time job and god knows what other responsibilities going on in your life, this can just be too draining and time-consuming. Luckily, escorts are an alternative.

Escort Babyl

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Escort Babylon greets first-time visitors with a landing page straight out of 1996, though the domain wasn’t registered for nearly another twenty years. The low-fi presentation is an odd site in the 21st century, a straight-up blast from the past holding strong even as futuristic VR paysites and AI porn generators pop up left and right across the internet. Honestly, that ugly front page might have turned me off entirely if I didn’t know how popular this joint was. With around 25 million visits a month, it sure seems like people must be getting laid around here. If you’ve seen my work at PornDudeCasting, you know I don’t actually have much trouble getting laid. That said, I never turn down an opportunity for some action. That’s why I was so eager to see who was listed on EscortBabylon.net, a wildly popular escort directory. Click the link to follow along at home as I take a little tour, or to start your own search for this evening’s entertainment.

TS Escorts

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TSescorts! Looking for tranny or shemale escorts? No beating around the bush on this one. You like yourself some cock, but, hey, you like perky tits and plump booties too. You’re always jackin’ it to hung shemales fucking each other in the ass, giving themselves prostate orgasms, and sucking dick. Ain’t no shame in it. Well, unless you like being shamed. And I can’t blame you for loving these thick-dicked bitches. I get fooled by them on the daily. You get some babe with a 10/10 bod only to find out that they have a dick the size of their own forearm. My mind just can’t process that shit sometimes. It makes me question my usually unwavering sexuality. I’m not surprised that a lot of you out there lust after these babes. But I’m not here to tell you about yet another tranny porn site. I’ll do you one better. This site is for all of you daring dudes and chicks out there who want to finally take the leap and fuck a sexy shemale. Tsescorts.com is a tranny escort site that pairs you up with local trans sluts who want to fuck. Well, the site says “tranny dating,” which is only true if your definition of dating is paying someone fuck you. Keep in mind your local laws and all of that shit though. The only thing you want to be busting is a nut.

AdultSearch

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Even though the first time I visited Adult Search I was not sure if this shit was just an Ad or what the fuck, but apparently, this is a legit place where you can meet escorts all over the world. Well, I am sure that you will find the escort cutie or dude you were searching for since Adult Search is actually just a search engine to help you find the escort who perfectly fits your needs. The site will literally just list different parts of the world that you can choose and get escorts just from there, which is great for those who were unable to find the escorts from their area. The first thing you should probably do is find your country and city, and then search for escorts from those places in particular, right? I actually checked out different places, just to see what they have to offer and if there are any errors depending on where you are searching, and well, they all offer the same shit. However, when I opened Sihanoukville, I did get a video where some guys drove around and filmed the streets, talking about all the hookers who are there at night and all that shit. I found it funny how they were describing the nightly streets yet they were filming at daytime... You had one job lads. Anyway, that was just one part of the site that I explored. As I mentioned, I opened different parts just to see what each has to offer and if their escorts are actually different and worth the call. Well, here you will not always get only escorts, sometimes you will get the public houses where you will be given an escort upon arrival, or so I assume; basically like they used to do it in the old days. Everything that you find here about these houses should be legit, and you will have their prices, and the info on how to contact them listed as well. I suggest you contact them if you have any questions, do not just assume what the fuck you will be offered; that is just plain rude. The first couple of escorts I wanted to open were just empty pages, so initially I thought that this place is bull. However, as I browsed after, I found many beautiful escorts who were ready for some action. Lucky for me, the first escort hottie I opened was from San Francisco, and she was a beautiful Asian babe called Wendy. On top, there was a bunch of information about her, and below you have some of her personal pictures, and those images tend to be quite naughty, depending on the chick. One thing that really made this Asian chick stand out are her huge pair of knockers, and I know we can all appreciate a chick with a bouncing pair. Do not worry, I found plenty of other chicks of different ethnicity, shapes, and sizes, so I am sure that if you give it a go, you will also find your dream beauty sooner or later. For example, the second chick I checked out literally asked in her description “Are you looking for a Pocahontas type”, and I can see why. She really does resemble the Disney princess, the only difference is I do not member Pocahontas showing so much skin, if you know what I mean. Most girls will have all the necessary information about themselves and their services provided on their profile, and below you will always have a couple of pictures. If you find a fake profile or some shit, you can always report an error and send it to the admin. Now, this site is good for both the visitors and the escorts, because you can also post your own ads here. Therefore, if you are an escort searching for your sugar daddy or some shit, you should create an ad here as well as other places (obviously).

Hot.com

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Hot.com has got to be internet gold. The one-word, three-letter domain was registered way back in 1991, perhaps by somebody who had no idea what they’d do with it. If you’ve ever even thought about starting your own website, you know how fucking hard it is to think of a domain that hasn’t already been taken. It’s difficult enough to come up with a catchy title, let alone a catchy and simple title like this one. I wonder how many aspiring webmasters have done a WHOIS search for Hot.com, only to discover the property has long since been snatched up. It makes me wonder how many ideas were dreamed up for Hot.com before it became what it is today. With a name like that, they could have been a porn tube, a dating site, or maybe even an enormous catalog of rankings and reviews a la ThePornDude.com, only with microwave ovens rather than porn sites. Instead, the fine folks behind the domain have built a big-ass search engine and directory of real-life adult entertainment, from strip clubs and sex shops to phone sex and dating sites. Today, I’m going to check out their extensive listings of escorts around the world. Now, where’d I put my condoms, lube, and wallet?

EscortNews

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Escort News! I love porn as much as the next guy, but I will also be the first one to tell you, sometimes it just does not cut it. Most days I can get by, sure, by fapping to a number of the best porn tubes and premium paysites on the web. But some days, I just need something more. You can find the hottest porno ever made, the sexiest girls getting fucked in all your favorite positions, it will never ever come close to the real thing. The way I see it, any sane person likely has a certain amount of money that he’s willing to pay each month for sexual needs. This includes money you spend on porn sites, sex toys, cam sites, etc. If you’re a particularly horny bastard, maybe you even budget it into your monthly finances. If you take girls out on dates with the hope of getting laid, yes, that money also counts towards this monthly amount. Go ahead, do a little quick math, calculate what you pay each month in the pursuit of cumming. What was your number? $50? $100? More? Even if it’s less, try estimating what you might pay per year? I am willing to bet that it is more than you initially thought it would be. What I would recommend doing, especially if you’re going through a uniquely severe dry spell at the moment, is to set aside a certain amount that you would normally pay on taking girls out to dinner and drinks, to a show, etc., and setting that aside for a more surefire way to get some great pussy. Yes, I am talking about escorts. When porn has failed you (you can only wank it to the same types of pornos day in and day out for so long before that grows old), the real thing is always only a couple of clicks and/or a phone call away. Maybe you’re not sold on the whole paying for sex thing. Well, just look at your pussy budget from before and tell me one thing: aren’t you already paying for sex as it is, even if it’s less direct? Why not just cut out the middle man and get some guaranteed pussy? Paying for sex has never been easier than it is in the internet age. Luckily, there are plenty of sites out there that feature escort ads. Some even let you interact with the girl a bit before you call her over for services. Never before in the history of man has it been so simple to exchange money (or, I’m sorry, ‘donations’) for some primo pussy.

RubRankings

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I initially thought RubRankings was going to be another cheap ripoff of ThePornDude, where some boring dude swears a lot while giving his joke-free opinions on free tubes, paysites, and other joints he's rubbed one out to. I was way the fuck off, but can you blame me? I see so many of those guys popping up nowadays that I’m always on guard, even when all that’s slipping into my DMs is an opportunity to get touched tonight. Sorry for the false alarm. In actuality, RubRankings.com is a body rub and Nuru massage directory. They’re a newer site, living on a domain just registered a few months ago, but that hasn’t stopped them from catching the attention of erotic massage fans like myself. All a directory like this really needs to be useful is a good selection of nimble-handed women offering their services in your area, so let’s see who’s on the list, and what other bells and whistles RubRankings has to offer.

Top Escort Babes

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TopEscortBabes! I know I spend a lot of time on here encouraging you guys to jerk off to the greatest porno on the Internet, but sometimes it’s just good to get a little bit of social interaction so your neckbeard doesn’t grow too long. If you’ve got solid game, maybe all you’ve got to do is get out there with your ripped abs and swollen pecs, but even if you’re ugly as hell there are options besides roofies. Top Escort Babes, for example, has been helping hard-up dudes get a little action since 2013. TopEscortBabes.com is worldwide, so you can use it to find yourself some paid snatch whether you’re in New York, the Netherlands, or even places like Pakistan and Bhutan. It ain’t super hard for a website to stretch itself across the whole world via the magic of the Internet, but this website has the traffic numbers to prove people are actually getting laid here. With a couple of million visits per month and more than 30,000 advertisers, you can be assured there’s a fine selection of poon for sale.

DaddysList

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Are you on Daddy’s List, or do you have a fatherly inventory of your own? It’s a funny question that might get different responses from folks who use the website of the same name. The site’s been around for years now, but has been seeing a big surge in traffic over the last couple months. I’m not sure what’s behind this boost, but I do know exactly what I like to use the site for. Considering where you’re reading this, I bet you have similar motivations. DaddysList.com ain’t a totally NSFW site. In fact, you might mistake it for a wholesome classified ad directory if you didn’t know any better. The thing is, they’ve actually got a little directory of local escorts buried within their extensive listings, and I’ll be digging deep today. Click my link to follow along at home, because they don’t make it remotely easy to find the adult stuff from their front page. It’s almost as if they don’t want you to get laid, but don’t worry: your old friend ThePornDude has your back!

LeoList

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Sweet, sweet Canadian pussy at Leo List! There is nothing quite like it. No matter how much porn you watch, how many asses you fuck, how many times you get blown, nothing will ever compare. I don’t need to tell you this, though, you filthy porn addict. I’m sure you are well aware of this fact, seeing as the last time you got laid was the summer of ‘92. Well, my friend, you are in luck. You may just be able to end your dry spell once and for all. If you can afford it, that is. We live in a golden age of information, where not only can we access any kind of porn we want in excess at any time of day without even leaving our beds but ordering a sex worker has also never been easier. Before the internet blew up and became what it is today, the primary way people spend their time, it was hard work to find a lady of the night. If you didn’t know a guy who had a connect, you used to have to go out, usually to dangerous neighborhoods, and solicit scantily clad girls on street corners from your car. Not only was this a safety risk (girls had hardened, unreasonable pimps that you might have to contend with, you could so easily get robbed or scammed, etc.), but it was equally a legal risk. Prostitution stings were huge back in the day, where cops would hire a girl to go out and do her thing and then arrest any johns who might try and exchange money for sex. Thanks to the internet, though, things are much, much easier. Not perfect, mind you. but better. You do still have to beware of scammers, catfish, and cops posing as escorts online, though. So, don’t just go crazy and meet up with any random girl whose number you found in an online ad. You still have to be careful. The best way to do this is to use a reliable site. But even the best escort indexes still have some fakes and law enforcement officers lurking on them, so you need to know what to look for. And, most importantly, just don’t be fucking stupid because you’re horny. Use your common sense.

Massage Republic

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MassageRepublic! Hey, pervert. Tired of beating your meat to the mountains of porno sites I review here? Me neither, honestly, but today I’m going to do a little something special for you. Instead of spending the evening watching video sluts, let’s see if we can get you laid on MassageRepublic.com. This site has been around for the better part of a decade, somehow staying safe from the powers that fucked up sites like craigslist and BackPage for hooker-bangers everywhere. There’s a fine line that must be walked, and my initial thought was that Massage Republic played it too safe to really be useful. Well, they’re getting 3 million hits a month, so either I’m wrong or that’s like 6 million blue balls.

AsianFever

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Ahh, Vancouver. This Canadian city is often called one of the most beautiful in the world. This place has everything, from thriving urban centers to glorious mountains and tropical-style rainforests. But, hey, wanna know a fun fact about Vancouver? It also has a substantial Asian population! From Chinese to Japanese and Filipino to Thai, Vancouver has a booming population of Asians who have contributed a lot to the city's makeup. But just wait until I show you what else they offer aside from outstanding cuisine! Are you a fan of Asian porn and struggle to keep your balls from emptying when you see iconic Asian pornstars like Asa Akira getting fucked up the ass? Oh boy, you’re going to love Vancouver! Amongst this city’s thriving Asian population is a thriving array of horny Asian sluts eager to ride any cock they can get their hands on and help you to live out your wildest Asian porn fantasies for real! But, Porn Dude! I only have a few days to spend in Vancouver, and I love Asian pussy, so how can I find the best Asian pussy this city offers when I’m limited in time? I hear you cry. Well, the best option is to dig deep and pay for it by finding a dick-loving Asian escort in Vancouver! To deal with this city’s population of horny Asian chicks looking to show off their dick-handling skills in exchange for cash, Vancouver is home to several Asian escort websites that aim to connect horny clients with equally nympho Asian girls. However, not all of these sites are as high-quality as one another. The last thing I’d want is for my beloved readers to be left out of pocket in exchange for a mediocre Asian escort experience that leaves their dick more limp than wet lettuce, so I decided to undertake the noble task of exploring each and every Asian escort website in Vancouver and carry out unbiased reviews of each. Today, I came face to face with Asianfever.ch and have it in my sights for a no-holds-barred review. As a man who has caught Asian porn-induced yellow fever many times in my life, this was a site I was more than excited to slide into!

Bumpchies

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Just what are Bumpchies, exactly? Well, the website’s logo replaces the B with a woman’s heart-shaped ass, which is always a good sign. I’ve never been to a SFW site that makes letters of a babe’s booty before, after all. Then again, butts are commonplace on pretty much any adult site, so you’re still in the dark if that’s all you’ve got to work with. They could be selling damn-near anything adult-oriented. That’s part of the trouble with coming up with your own unique brand name and trying to make it stick. It's possible that Bumpchies will enter the public’s lexicon and you’ll hear your grandma saying it over Christmas dinner next year, but it all depends on just how popular they are by then. When I first pulled up the joint, I got an Adults-Only warning that mentions the recent closings of AnnonceEnTime and Humpchies, which makes Bumpchies “the #1 website for escorts in Quebec.” It seems like everyone on the internet is claiming top-dog status in something, so naturally I had to take a look and see for myself.

ShemaleCan

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Shemale Canada has been around since 2002, which might help explain the outdated terminology in the title. Yeah, I know porno has held onto “shemale” longer than the rest of the world, but at least the word is tossed around with love. I’m guessing your visit today isn’t motivated by hate or discrimination, but by a genuine lust for chicks with dicks as big as your own—or even bigger! With its ripe old age and around half a million visitors every month, ShemaleCanada.com may just be the best directory of Canadian trans escort ads on the internet. Honestly, those numbers would be alright on a globe-spanning, all-inclusive escort directory, but the fact that they’re pulling this much traffic with such a tight focus on their niche says a lot. According to the blurb at the bottom, the site “specifically caters to transsexuals, shemales, transvestites, crossdresers, ladyboys and their admirers who are candidly looking for sex and fun or love and romance.” That includes you, right?

TERB

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TERB Forums aka Toronto & Ontario Escort Review Baord! Hmm, how to get your dick sucked in Canada? So, your work sends you off to Canada, in the middle of winter, and you’re sitting there in your hotel room with nothing better to do than sample the local maple syrup and catch the hockey game that you could give a fuck about. You sit there bored, trying to take your mind off the pressures of the client meeting for you early next morning. You need to relax…but how? What is there to do? That’s when the inspiration comes to you. Backpage.com, of course! But then the awful memory comes to you… of course… that directory of escort and other shady services, the one place that can save you from a night time of lameness in the middle of this bastard shitstain stepchild of America, was shut down by the goddamn government earlier this year. But have no fucking fear, because Terb.cc is fucking here. Terb.cc is a Canadian forum specializing in finding escorts and massage parlous in the Greater Toronto area and other strange corners of that liberal hellhole. The forum is a thriving community of tens of thousands of posts that cover discussions for agencies, independent escorts, “massage” parlors, and even lamer shit like therapeutic massage if you’re shy about your small dick. And if you’re outside of Toronto in bumfuck moose county, or in the city where they only speak French, there’s help for you as well. In addition to the GTA (Greater Toronto Area), there’s also active sub-forums that cover Ottawa, Kingstom, Durham, Peterborough, and all kinds of other areas that nobody in their goddamn mind would ever go near unless looking for an early cold death in a pile of moose shit. That’s right. You could be in the middle of some fucked up cabin in the middle of a snowy winter surrounded by cock lovers who attach “eh?” to every goddamn sentence, but you can still get your dick sucked. The internet is an amazing invention. A strangely large and active user base… The first thing you’ll find out about terb.cc (whatever the FUCK that means) is that there are a shitload of horny Canadians lurking around on this site. No doubt there’s nothing better to do up there. The site statistics include almost 5 million posts, over 500,000 threads, 168,000 members, and typically over a thousand users online at any time. I couldn’t figure out the history of the site, but there are posts active going all the way back to 2009. So the site has had a long and successful history and continues to have a loyal following today. What that means for you is that the information on the website is going to be fresh, detailed, and extensive. Hell, you can probably find a moose to fuck if you ask nicely enough. Just don’t forget to randomly insert apologies into every other sentence for no goddamn reason, you know, just to blend in. Clean and simple vBulletin design Now when you first enter the forum, the first weird thing you’re gonna discover is that for some reason these mofos have the “general” boards at the top of the forums. That’s right, instead of getting down to business, apparently, the Canadians are so goddamn friendly that they want you to come say hello in their “Lounge”, and catch up on “Sports Discussion” and all kinds of other mainstream shit that you already have better places to discuss. Quora? Reddit? FUCK OFF. I want to discuss my eating habits with the rest of you Canadian degenerates in-between beating off to the escort ads. At least, I think that was the site creator’s intention. On the other hand, this is the type of shit that makes this forum so goddamn popular. All these low life degenerates apparently find camaraderie and brotherhood amongst their fellow whore-buying countrymen, or hell, maybe its just another example of them being “polite”. It’s pretty goddamn disgusting how active the Politics and Religion discussions are on this website. No doubt Justin Trudeau browses it to get policy ideas. As expected, the forum is infested with some real small-dicked liberals, although the conservative voices are strong and well-represented as well.

PERB

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Pacific/Praries Escort Review Board! Because there are quite a lot of sites on the internet, it is quite impossible for me to review them all, and when it comes to escort and massage sites, perb.cc is supposed to cover all of that for me…or at least that’s what’s supposed to happen. The idea of the site Like I already hinted, this site is supposed to be a place that contains various reviews of different sites related to escort services as well as massages. The site is in the form of a forum on which you can register for free, and you too can become a part of the community and submit a review for a site that which has already been submitted to the “database”, or you can submit an “undiscovered” site as well. The design One of the first thing that you will definitely notice is the general design of the site, I mean come on, you cannot tell me that it doesn’t remind you of one of those old pop-ups that have a bunch of flashing ads with a very shitty bland single-colored background. While the top of the page does feature some minor design besides just having ads slammed on a one-colored background, it still looks like some kind of a template which you will be able to find on a computer of an art school student from the previous century, because that is exactly how fucking outdated it looks. On the top, where you can find the design done by a random student, you will be able to find a couple of drop-down menus which will direct you to various areas of the site. While the site looks quite outdated, I was surprised that all of the links actually worked, and they directed me to the correct part of the site. Of course, some of the links will take you to a completely different site, and I will speak more about this later in the review. Some of the drop-down options also seem unnecessary, like registration and forgotten password links which should be kept on the forum only, since you will be using those features only there anyways, and not on the homepage of the site. The button that really made me interested, is the “sugar babies” button, and I was quite curious what was hiding within that page. However, once I decided to click it, no matter from which section of the site, the page just reloaded, which was very disappointing. One thing that I definitely appreciate is that the site doesn’t run any ads that are not related to the content that the site revolves around. You will not have any of those annoying pop-ups that suggest how you can increase your dick size, and how doctors hate the guy who is giving away those tips, I am really fucking glad that they didn’t put any of that shit on the site.

MERB

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Montreal & Maritime Review Board! Finding escorts and associated erotic services is one thing, but knowing about the quality of such services is an entirely different affair. Whether you are the asshole that wants to seek a sexual thrill away from your wife or you simply want to get adventurous with your sexual tastes and experiences (because why the fuck not? life is short), you need to be sure that you are not being ripped off. Escort review boards allow you to connect with fellow punters, exchange information and discuss escort experiences. You know there is a lot to know before you spend a dime on a whore who won’t dress for the occasion, has bad breath, is an awful performer, or wants to get drunk before delivering the services you fucking paid for. Sure, it may take your time and effort, but it's way better than a blind date with a mediocre, blacklisted companion, don’t you agree? Exactly why you should totally hook up with Merb.cc, a Canadian adult site that allows you to exchange ideas and information regarding Canadian escorts and erotic massage services with other perverts. With plenty of sections and forums, you can look forward to information regarding the terminators you would like to fuck and where to get the steamiest massage services with prospects of a happy ending very much on the cards. There is also a probability of finding a good call girl that plays by the rules and doesn’t mess around.

AdultWork

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What can we find on Adult Work besides UK escorts? Well, this is just in: it is possible to do other things besides just masturbate all day long on the internet. Like what, you ask? Well, you don’t have to always watch porn every time you’re horny, you know. Sometimes you could try to make your own! Or maybe you could browse escorts in your area, see if you can’t land yourself some real-life pussy. I’m sure your hand would appreciate the break anyway. Or you could get real old-school with it and look up some phone sex numbers. Nothing like cumming to the sound of an anonymous stranger’s heavy breathing on a phone line, right? … Right … Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s exactly as hot as she sounds… You could always become a cam model and try to get paid to jack off (you’ll be doing it anyway, right? Why not?). Of course, that would require you to essentially be gay for pay (if you think that lots of chicks are tuning in to watch dude’s jack off on camera, you’ve got another thing cumming). Hmm … what else is there? Oh, yeah, you could start reading erotica. Maybe even get into writing some of your own. There are plenty of extremely active erotica writing communities out there on the web. Or you could start/introduce yourself to a decent sex blog. Does any of that sound appealing? Some of it is work, true, but it’s time to face the facts: life is work sometimes. It’s not all about sitting around in your PJs all day, pleasuring yourself over and over again. There is, believe it or not, a little more to it than that. And some of those things that I mentioned may be a little bit of work in the beginning but will be so worth it in the end. Take ordering an escort, for example.

Angels Of L

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Some of you old-timers remember when banging a hooker meant trolling the seedy side of town, trying not to get shanked by a bum while getting a toothless beej from a crackwhore. The Internet has sure changed things, huh? These days, it’s safer and easier to find a girl to give you a handy for money. The girls at Angels of London are more than a few steps up from the local lot lizards, too. AngelsOfLondon.com operates under the motto, “Maximum Pleasure Very Discreet”. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to guess what they’re offering, especially with all the hot sluts lining up and down the front page. These guys are dedicated to helping you find the escort of your dreams in London. I know your balls are pretty backed up from all that social distancing, so maybe it’s time to look into getting them serviced by a beautiful lady of the night.

uEscort

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British escorts? Anybody could tell you that I love pussy. My whole life revolves around staring at pictures of it and reviewing the experience. Sometimes I’ve got to feel it, though. Escorts are the easiest and arguably cheapest way to get my dick wet, and the Internet has simplified even that process. Sites like uEscort.com offer up listings by location. I think the the "U" in uEscort stands for UK, because that’s where all their listings are. Johns in the rest of the world will have to look elsewhere. The site’s only a few years old and gets more than a quarter of a million hits a month, which tells me people are using it. The counter at the top says they’re currently listing 1,054 adultwork escorts.

Dior Escorts

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DiorEscorts sounds like it’s got to be full of some really high-class sluts, but what’s really in a name? I mean, sure, they can borrow a name from a prominent, expensive, luxury fashion designer, but I’m not sure just anyone can turn it instantly into their own brand of magic. Gianna Dior certainly made it work for her, but how many unknowns have languished in obscurity despite tacking on a famous name. (By the way, if you haven’t seen me banging Gianna over at PornDudeCasting, you’re missing out on some prime smut!) Today, though, we are not talking about smut. I guess if you were hard up, you could definitely beat off to the samples, but DiorEscorts.com was designed to promote Dior Escorts, a London-based escort agency with nearly a decade in the business. Longevity counts for a lot in an industry like this one, and so does their visible popularity: the site gets over 60,000 visitors a month. That makes me wonder just how many dudes are actually getting their dicks wet through the site, and well, I just kind of fell down the rabbit hole from there.

LondonTS

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Someone sent me a London TS link this morning, and I spent a good hour reading it wrong before I finally got around to clicking it. I really thought the name was some kind of play on words, combining London with Don’t, hinting at some vague naughtiness inside—things the nice girls Don’t do in London, perhaps. That’s arguably not too far from what I found when I did check it out, depending on how you or grandmother feel about banging shemale hookers. The actual title is a lot simpler than my bong-hitting brain made it out to be, though. The title makes more sense with the capitalization in place, something that didn’t come through in the morning email: LondonTS.com is a directory of TS escorts in the UK. Despite the name, the big-dicked babes you’ll find within ain’t strictly limited to The Big Smoke, though you’ll naturally find a ton of them in the city. The site’s been around for years and gets close to half a million visits a month, which is a good sign for a platform that basically requires high traffic to be of much use. With any luck, you’ll have a pretty girl swinging her dong in your face in no time.

Babes Of London

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Have you ever seen that Guy Ritchie movie called Snatch? It was set in the British capital, and some less-than-positive pictures of the city were painted. One character, an American named Cousin Avi, enthusiastically announced his planned departure to the city by introducing it as "London! Fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fuckin’ Poppins. London!" But upon returning to his native America after being chewed up and spat out by the city and being asked if he had anything to declare, he said, ‘’Yeah, don’t go to fuckin’ England!’’ Yep, London is one of those cities with a love-hate relationship among many people. While I’m not going to stand here and defend it, there is one overwhelming positive about it that makes you forget about the shitty weather and even shittier food. Don’t be dissuaded by Victorian-era stereotypes about the British because the sex scene in London is alive and well. I mean, fuck, this place had its own seedy version of New York’s Times Square in the form of Soho, where sex and sin were effectively on tap for decades. Nowadays, though, a lot of London’s sex scene has gone online. London is a famously multicultural city that attracts people from every corner of the world, especially those from the various former colonies of the British Empire. It is a metropolis packed with every nationality under the sun, and with it comes a plethora of sexual opportunities to be explored. But while London can be a rewarding trip for your penis, you have to do some groundwork before you go. One of the most critical errors so many sex-hungry visitors to the capital make is by opting for some crappy escort website to get their dick wet, only to be led down a slippery path to disappointment. This is something that I hate to see, so I’ve made it one of my missions to review all of the London escort platforms out there to ensure you’re guided between the warm and welcoming thighs of the sites that matter and are equally able to avoid those that don’t. And, with that, allow me to introduce you to the topic of today’s review as we get ready to dive into Babesoflondon.com!

EscortsAffair

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Ever considered having an Escorts Affair? Porn has really been helping me get through this social distancing shit, but I have to admit, I miss sticking my ding-dong into an actual ho-ho instead of just filling another snack cake with my own cream filling. My barrel of lube is running pretty low, too, which is probably why I’ve been spending time browsing sites like EscortsAffair. In case you can’t guess from the name, it’s a massive escort directory with listings around the world. The pandemic certainly hasn’t exactly been great for hookers. Hell, even Tinder’s been taking a hit since all that local herpes now comes with a potential side of the ‘rona. That’s one of the reasons why the traffic over at EscortsAffair.com is so damn interesting. The site has been growing steadily since its inception, which happened right before somebody ate tainted bat stew and changed everything. Over the last few weeks, they’ve had a massive spike in traffic; they’re pulling over 4,000 visits a month right now, with a trajectory going almost straight up. Either they have something really special to offer or people are just fucking sick of staying home and waiting for their virginity to grow back.

TS4Rent

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TS 4 Rent! So, you're addicted to tranny escorts, right? Well, I’ve got something a little different for you perverts today. The women are as lovely and sexually depraved as the chicks I normally talk about, and they’re literally sluts this time. Before you whip out your credit card and order in, let me warn you, the transexual escorts at TS 4 Rent are the type who whip out their dicks. We can get into a whole philosophical discussion about whether or not paying a tranny to fondle your balls and lick your asshole makes you a fag, but honestly, I don’t give a fuck. Work through your issues on your own time. Hey, maybe you can start with a look at TS4Rent.eu, you totally straight and manly stud.

TS Dating

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If the notion of TS Dating gets you all hot and bothered, well, perhaps you’d better strip down and turn the AC up before we get into this following review. Then again, maybe it’s better if you stay dressed and ready to go out, but I guess it all depends on whether you’re shooting for an incall or outcall tonight. Do you want to bang a shemale in your own bed, or would you rather go somewhere else, so your wife doesn’t wonder how all the bedsheets got so completely caked up in santorum? Ah, decisions, decisions. There were far fewer decisions to make in the old days because there were far fewer options for hooking up with a tranny. The internet has sure changed the hell out of that. TS-Dating.com offers a fine example of the modern, streamlined process for finding a chick with a dick to get your kicks. They’re a transsexual escort and shemale dating site, and a well-established one at that. They’ve been around since 2004 and currently get well over a million visits a month, so their front-page claim of being “the premier worldwide trans escort site” may be more than just big-head bullshit. Let’s take a closer look and see for ourselves.

Empire Escort

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Empire Escort Network drops an E from their domain name, rolling with the simple and clever EmpirEscort.com instead. As a porn webmaster myself, as well as the guy who runs PornWebmasters.com, I have to wonder if this is just clever branding or if they accidentally forgot to pay their registrar bill and lost the dot-com with their full name. That internet real estate ain’t cheap, and now it'll cost them a good four grand to buy it back. Hopefully, you won’t have to spend nearly as much money just using the site to find a good time this evening. EmpirEscort lists escort ads and other adult classifieds from providers around the world. They’ve been online less than a year, though longevity ain’t necessarily the best indicator of an escort site’s value. No, what matters most is how easy they make it to get some action, so let’s see what they’ve got for your old pal The Porn Dude!

The Erotic Re

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TheEroticReview aka TER Escort! And the award for most confusing website name goes to TheEroticReview. At first glance, you’d assume that these guys are gunning for my job, with them reviewing erotica and whatnot. They do not review erotica. They review something much more interesting than erotica. But PornDude – I hear you shouting at your computer screen – what could possibly be more important than smut? Women, that’s what’s more important than smut, young Timothy. Women. TheEroticReview is a one-stop-shop for the reviewing of women from around the globe. Got a woman you want the inside scoop on? Come to TheEroticReview and read detailed information regarding said woman from all the men who’ve ever been inside her. It’s a fantastic system that aims to give you all of the information you could need on a bitch long before you ever have to take her out on a date or listen to her bitch and moan about her problems. That’s the worst part of interacting with women, isn’t it? When they start to complain about shit.

SexAdvisor

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I spoke to my Sex Advisor this morning, and he told me I needed to get laid more often. Beating off into a silicone doll butthole while watching the porn tubes is great fun and all, but sometimes you need to stick your ding-ding inside of something live, wet, and tight. I guess I could try my luck at the local fatties on Tinder again, but what if I’m looking for something a little more, uh, professional? That’s where SexAdvisor.com comes in. It’s a killer domain that’s been kicking around for decades, but its current incarnation is pretty fucking new to the Internet. You know, given the timing, I get the feeling the folks who built it are just as fed up with social distancing as the rest of us. The whole point of the site is to help you find brothels, erotic massages, strip clubs, swinger clubs, and other live, interactive adult entertainment. So let’s see if it’s time to end my dry spell.

Scarlet Blue

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Are you looking for Australian escorts at ScarletBlue? Well, what kind of a man are you? I know I don’t usually start my reviews off like this but let’s think about that for a second. I know that you know me as the porn dude and I know that I always present you with some of the best porn sites that there are in existence, but there’s one big secret that I have to tell you guys. I don’t just watch porn to get myself off. I also fuck, like a lot. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy fucking a chick every now and then.. probably like every day or every other day now that I think about it. And as you know, I’m not the kind of guy to keep just one pussy around, so naturally, I’m going to be checking in with some of the best escorts that money can buy. ScarletBlue.com.au is the perfect place for service of this nature.

Ivy Société

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How many times have you found yourself wanting to be satisfied by a real fucking person? Plenty of goddamn times if I am not mistaken! Now how many times have you actually put your best foot forward and tried to do something about it? Probably not that many times. Because you are here, alone, jerking off to my expertly reviewed porn sites on ThePornDude. Well bitch, it is time to fucking do something about it! And you can if you live in Australia, New Zealand, Tasmania, and roughly, that corner of the world. If that describes your ass, I invite you to take a look at Ivysociete instead. You will find a wide array of escorts that are ready to make you feel like a man again! Or maybe you don’t want to feel like a straight man. Perhaps you are a gay man that wants to hook up with other bros. Maybe you are a trans female that wants to hook up with others just like you. Hell, you may even be non-binary and are open for business across the board. However you fucking swing, Ivysociete has the escorts that you are looking for!

Naughty Ads

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When you hear the phrase “Naughty Ads”, what do you immediately envision? I actually think of two separate categories of adult-oriented advertisements, one a blessing and the other a curse. If you’re a regular internet masturbator, you’ve no doubt grown accustomed to the onslaught of spam you get from the free sites even if you’re running a good adblocker plugin for your browser. Those arguably suck, even if they do occasionally nudge you toward some high-quality fap fodder you’ve never experienced before. On the other hand, if you’re on the hunt for a little bit of paid strange, you’ll probably be seeking out a different type of advertisement. Those are the type of bulletins you’ll find on NaughtyAds.com.au, a directory of escorts, erotic masseuses and strippers all across Australia. They’ve been around for over a decade now, having launched back in 2012, and they’re still giving punters what they want all these years later. The joint gets well over half a million visitors every month, and today I’ll be among them. Let’s see how easily the site can help me get laid.

Locanto.net

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Indian escorts from Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Delhi,... Looking to get laid in India, eh? It’s hard, huh? Yeah, not to be a dick or anything, but Indian culture is pretty reserved when it comes to freaky sex. They’re not shaking titties in your face like the sluts in the West. That’s why I was pretty surprised to find out Locanto has an extensive selection of escorts, strippers, and erotic massages in India. Locanto, for those unaware, is a classified site for buying and selling things locally. You can use it to offer guitar lessons, or you can use it to find some hot, sexy action. I’d normally load up Locanto.com for escorts around me, but today I’m looking at Locanto.net, where the Indian broads are. Hit my link below to skip to the personals and follow along.

Skokka

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How much porn can one man look at in a lifetime? There has to be a limit, right? At least in the short term? What I mean is, at some point, porn is going to get old, and you’re going to have to actually go out into the real world and get some pussy. Porn is, of course, only meant to get us through periodic bouts of no sex, short lengths of time in which we are, for one reason or another, not getting laid. It was never meant to completely replace sex in our lives! But, then again, getting some real pussy can be, at times, easier said than done. It’s not always that simple, right? Some of us are so busy with work that we just don’t have the time to go through all the motions of getting laid. First you have to meet a girl. Then you have to take her out for drinks and dinner. Maybe you have to go to a play or a movie or some other bullshit. Then you have to get her to come back to your place with her (or if you’re married, hope she asks you back to hers). Then you have to pray that she is going to put out and not make you wait for two or three more dates beforehand. It’s just a lot of fucking hassle. For a busy guy on the go, there has to be an easier way … Well, there is one option that you may or may not have entertained in the past. You can always order an escort. If you have a bit of extra cash lying around and you’re growing tired of your hand being the only touch you get these days, it certainly can’t hurt to give it a shot. What have you got to lose? Well, unless you’re married, then I suppose you have your whole life to lose. But some of these Indian escorts, man, I have to say … worth it! And don’t get too caught up on the whole paying for sex thing. Everybody pays for sex in one way or another. There is no such thing as free sex. Think about it, even if you do find a hot girl who wants to go out with you (and possibly fuck you at the end of the date … possibly), you’re still going to have to take her to get drinks and dinner and, as I said earlier, possibly to a movie or a show or a concert. By the end of the night, you will easily have spent the same amount you would drop on a high-quality escort. And you won’t even be guaranteed sex! With all this considered, it just seems like the fiscally responsible decision, simply ordering an escort. Not only do you spend the same amount of money, but you save on time too. Which, of course, is priceless.

Oklute

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The adult ads in Oklute’s Indian section caught my eye this morning, and I ended up spending much of my day flipping through listings of call girls, erotic masseuses and other grownup services. Perhaps it’s time for me to visit Bangalore again, if only to meet up with this 28-year-old hottie who posted a selfie a few hours ago. Then again, it’s not like she’s my only option, as the platform is absolutely full of beautiful women hawking their wares and their bodies. If you ever get hung up trying to decide what to watch on Netflix or ordering from a big menu at a restaurant, well, you may have your work cut out for you. Oklute.com is an international dating site with listings all around the world, but in today’s travels, I’ll be sticking to the Bharat section. Click my link or add a couple extra letters to the URL (Hi.Oklute.com) to follow along at home or score your own Indian escort. The ads run the gamut, from call girls to massage, male escorts to trannies and more, so don’t get the impression you’ll be limited to one sort of service or another. The world’s your oyster, as they say, so why not crack that baby open and jizz into it? That’s my goal for the day, so wish me luck!

Escort Ireland

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EscortIreland! Looking for Iris escorts from Cork, Dublin, Limerick, Galway,... at Escort-Ireland? Are there any sexier women in the world than Irish women? Maybe not. I mean, sure, Latinas are up there, too. As are Japanese girls. Okay, let’s be honest, every nationality has beautiful women, it’s true, and no one is better than the other. They all just have different flavors. Both literally and figuratively, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t know what I mean, do the whole world a favor and start eating more pussy, please. But it is definitely true that Irish girls have a particularly sexy flavor to them. The creamy, pale skin (that I want to make even creamier), the red hair (if we’re going with the stereotype), the matriarchal power and demeanor so many of them have about them. They are just plain sexy, there’s no denying it. Plus, maybe you’ve heard this too, but apparently, gingers have the juiciest pussies in the world. I don’t know, I’m yet to fuck a ginger, believe it or not! Definitely on my fuck-it list, though. Shit, maybe I’ll have to take a trip to Ireland one of these days just to have an Irish ginger fuck fest. Does anyone want to let me crash on their couch while I’m there? We can get a few pints and bang a few pint-sized lasses. Sound like fun? Let’s go! I probably don’t even need to tell you that I love porn just as much as the next guy. Because, well, duh, I write porn reviews for a living … obviously, I love me a good porno! But, let’s be honest, porn does get old. It’s true. And anyone who denies that is either a virgin, a porn addict, or has just completely given up on life. Not that those things are mutually exclusive, not by any means. Actually, it seems to make sense that one would lead to the other. Being a 40-year-old virgin, for example, could lead you to become a porn addict, which, over the course of a few years, could lead you to completely give up on life.

NZ Girls

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Looking for New Zealand Girls aka NZ escorts? A classy upmarket sort of sexy exotic escorts arena that provides you with company whenever or wherever you need it as long as it’s within New Zealand. While it might be a little too pricey than most, there is a good variation of services ie massage to exclusively erotic. Also, there are the distinctive traits that vary from one model to the next whether physical, appearance or simply ethnicity with the inclusion of both Asian and Non-Asian escorts. Which I must admit is pretty much exceptional and certainly the sort of experiences anyone should be looking out for. Now, whether the site is a little out of range or within your range, it’s certainly worth taking a look at. And not just because there are tons of hot erotic photos and sex videos but because there is reason to believe that they are the key to that erotic pleasant fantasy world every one dreams of and I'll be telling you all about it.

USASexGuide

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Are you looking for some escorts at USA Sex Guide? I have always dreamt of hitting the road and seeing these great United States of ours from coast to coast. I want to visit the monuments, the national forests, the natural phenomenon, sample the diverse cultures of every state—the local food, the nightlife, and, of course, the women. A sort of manifest destiny of fuck. A truly patriotic conquest. I could get some cheese stakes in Philly during the day. And at night I could learn why It’s Always Sunny. Maybe get some legendary BBQ in St. Louis. Then have backs arching like the gateway for dessert. Ah, how I would love to go down to St. Augustine, Florida, and take a dip in the fountain of youth. Then drive a few hours down to Miami to snort coke off an escort’s ass (South Florida has some of the hottest girls in the world, and something about the heat and humidity just makes them so damn horny). Man, that would really be the trip of a lifetime. Maybe somebody will give me a book deal with a hefty advance to take it someday. I guarantee it would be an interesting read (to say the very least). Plus, sex always sells. So, publishers, feel free to get at me if you want to pay me to fuck escorts around the country and then write about it. Regardless, I do love to travel as often as I can. I don’t know about you, but I start to feel claustrophobic if I stay in one place for too long. I guess I have something of a nomadic soul. Maybe I just get bored quickly. Either way, one benefit of my frequent traveling is that I have developed, over time, the same sort of fortunate set up for myself that Nate Dogg and Ludacris once bragged about. In other words, “I’ve got hoes in different area codes.” We can’t all be players, though, let’s face it. I'm 99.9% sure that if you are reading this review right now, you most definitely do not have hoes in any area code, let alone multiple. Anyways, it’s all good; we can’t all be blessed with the gift. Don’t let it get you down. There is no shame in paying for sex. Well, on second thought, that is debatable. There can be shame in it. But, fuck it, feeling ashamed is a choice. Just do what makes you happy. Maybe you travel a lot for work. Who wants to go through the trouble of dragging his jet-lagged ass to the club after a long flight and an even longer workday just to do the old song and dance to get some pussy? I sure as hell wouldn’t. If that sounds like your situation, well, you, sir, may be in need of an escort. In an unfamiliar city, though, it isn’t quite so simple all the time. It’s not like you can just phone the front desk of your hotel (in which your room is likely booked under your boss’s name) and say, “Hey there, skippy, find me a hooker!” And wandering the streets for a lady of the night will leave you susceptible to being mugged or, worse, picked up by undercover cops on a sting. So, all this considered, what is a man to do when he needs some pussy?

Eccie

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If you came to see what eccie.net has to offer, then you already know that this is an escort review site, since it is listed under the escort category. However, that is definitely not enough for you to decide whether this place is actually a site you want to waste your time on, and that is where I come in. I am a pro when it comes to all things pornographic, and that also includes escorts, so if you are interested in hiring a hot escort beauty, then continue reading, otherwise just visit a different site. Nobody would blame you if you mistook this place for a forum site, because, in a way, it does act as a forum, not to mention that it really looks like that. Now, personally, I hate forum websites, as I find them useless, but I am not here to talk about what makes my dick hard, I am here to tell you what the fuck eccie.net has to offer. For those who do not know much about this place, eccie.net was founded in 2009, and it is quite an unusual, and in my opinion, useful site. You could look at this place the same way as you look at Yelp, just like you can see what other people think about different restaurants, books, and other shit, you can read what other people think about certain escort chicks or trannies. One could argue that this place is known as the ‘Yelp of all Escorts” as it is praised a lot, and I can see why. However, not everything is so nice and shit, since this place, like every other site, has its ups and downs. Well, you do not have to spend countless hours exploring this site by yourself, when you have a professional who will do all that shit for you. As for the design of the site, it is really nothing special, and that pissed me off once I realized that they offer a premium membership as well, which I will talk about a little later. Usually, the premium memberships include a site with a good design and great content, but here I feel like you only get good content and the site looks crappy.

TNABoard

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TNA Board? This next one is going to be a real dream come true to all you airport masturbators who love waiting in line, taking off your shoes and belt, and having some fat guy stare at your naked genitals and man-boobs through an x-ray scanner. Wait, hold on. I misread the site’s name. This is actually TNABoard. It has nothing to do with the TSA, but you can still use it to get your package groped by a firm, leather-clad hand. TNABoard.com has been around for a little over a decade, and they pull about 5,000 visitors a day. Most of them are perverts like you, looking for a sex worker to suck them off, ride their pogo stick, or step on their balls while calling them a dirty, dirty boy. The rest of those visitors are the escorts, erotic masseuses, and stern dominatrixes itching to sell you their services.

LoveHub

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Love Hub! Pornography is one of the most amazing things in the world because it helps us satisfy a constant, primal urge to stimulate our cocks and blast buckets of jizz all over the goddamn place. Sometimes, though, those HD lesbian movies just aren’t enough to make that old, crusty gym sock look appealing anymore. When that happens, it may be time to consider hiring an escort, like one of the broads you’d find on LoveHub. LoveHub.com was registered back in 2014, but the site took off in late 2019. It took off in a big fucking way, too, and already gets at least a quarter-million visits a month. High traffic numbers are pretty goddamn vital for any escort site. Hopefully, a good portion of those visitors are professional sluts offering their services for sale around the world. I guess I better get in there and take a look around.

AdultLook

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Adult Look! Well, I've got word for married dudes, eligible bachelors, and any other motherfucker who knows the value of good pussy or certainly yearn for it. The safest way to cheat is not maintaining a mistress, those bitches get boring sometimes or simply begin nagging the same way your wife does, for what? And then at a time sticking your nail in one hole has you stuck right in the middle with a love infatuation or even a baby! Doesn’t sound funny anymore, right? Why not go for a varied range of horny pussies that you can basically hit from almost anywhere across the world then? After all, it will give you the fuck boy experience you so much wish to devilishly hold onto, a wide range of pussies to hit as well as get to taste various experiences from erotic massage, fetish and kinks, and so much more. And while escorts, like on AdultLook.com, might be a little scary with that strange feeling as if you are stepping into the world of unknown. AdultLook has made sure to bring users like you and me on board through the forum section to be the judges for ourselves, giving recommendations and first-hand reviews on the quality of services offered by whomever we hitched a ride on. Awesome, right? Now let’s dig deeper.

UKPunting

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UK Punting! If you’re a guy from the UK you already know what a hassle it can be to find good escorts and sex services. Well, this site aims to change that by giving you information from other sex buyers so that you can make an informed decision. Today, ThePornDude is reviewing UKPunting.com, the self-proclaimed “number 1 paid sex review, and discussion site”. A bit of poor wording makes it look like it costs money to use it, but it’s actually free. Is it that good? We’re about to find out. This place has been here a while, doing its job for free The site launched back in August 2010. It was made by sex buyers because they couldn’t find an appropriate site where they can exchange information about escorts and sex services. Thus, they created UK Punting, and it has been operating ever since. You know the lads are well-intentioned when they’re operating a site at a loss. That’s right, this website doesn’t make any money in any way shape or form. Instead, it’s paid for by the site owner, out of his own good will. He’s the real MVP.

MegaPersonals

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Mega Personals sound like a much bigger version of regular personals, so I wonder if I’ll meet any fat chicks on there. That’s all I’ve been banging on Tinder lately, plus I think I may have caught the coronavirus off that last chick. I’m hoping the Mega in the name refers to their overall caliber of service and available broads, not to their girth or vagina circumference. There’s only one way to find out, right? MegaPersonals.eu may have an EU in the link, but they’ve got personal classified ads from around the world. As soon as you hit the landing page, they ask you if you’re trying to get laid from Canada, the US, Europe or Oceania. The site’s been getting around 5,000 visitors a day ever since their inception at the end of 2019, so I’m going to look for some hot DTF chicks in my area. (Oh, and just so we’re clear before we go in, those personal ads are mostly escorts, doms and erotic masseuses.)

Smooci

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Smooci calls itself The Future of Escort Bookings. Claiming you’re the future of something or other is always a good marketing gimmick, but in this case, we’re talking about the oldest profession in the world. How have things changed from visiting a brothel in the days of yore? For that matter, what futuristic features does Smooci have to distinguish it from the escort sites of a decade ago, a year ago, or a month ago? By definition, the future of anything should have something you can’t get today, so I’ve got some high-ass hopes. Maybe I’m just talking some rhetorical bullshit for the sake of introducing the joint, or perhaps I’m just fucking with the stoners who are now going to be thinking about the concept of future all day. The truth is, Smooci.com has actually been around for a few years now, but there may be some truth to their “future” brag; I’ve reviewed many escort sites here at ThePornDude, and this one does not fit the usual mold. They’re an escort site with some next-gen features to help you get laid tonight. Their traffic has more than doubled over the last couple of months, which is why I was so excited to take a look for myself.

XEscortHub

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If you wish that you could get your dick wet without putting in any of the hard work of wooing a woman to fuck you, there are many ways to do this. You could flash a lot of cash if you have it on your hands. A certain type of woman will spread her legs when you show a few Benjamins out in the wild, so maybe you could try that at the risk of getting mugged. Or you could just try dating. But goddamn, that's a lot of hard work. If you want a more straightforward approach, why not reach out to XEscort Hub. Or, as your grandpappy used to call it, meet a lady of the night. Unlike him though, you don't have to sneak back over behind the country church after sunset to get a blowjob before anyone sees you. Nowadays, you can arrange this kind of meet-up from the comfort of your own home. Grandpappy would be proud of your initiative. Arrange a meeting with a beautiful woman in your part of the US. Then, get your cock chugged by a beauty that will make you feel like you have as big a penis as the founder of ThePornDude! Wow, that's a huge schlong!

Trans Escorts

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Are you looking to get your dick wet and find an escort in your part of the world? But I am not talking about just any kind of escort, either. I am referring to fucking transsexual escorts that want to suck you off while you fuck their asshole. If I am talking your fucking language, then I urge you to reach out to fucking Trans Escorts. There, you are going to find a wide array of escorts that are certain to make you cum harder than any living being has ever managed to make you cum in your life. If that sounds fucking awesome to you, then take a look at Trans Escorts today and find someone that will get you off in the best way possible!

NYC Escort Models

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What makes NYC Escort Models different than your average escort directory? Well, for one thing, they’re in New York City, so you may want to look elsewhere if you’re trying to find a gal out in Bumfuck, Egypt. One might argue that babes in the Big Apple are another breed entirely, and I probably wouldn’t claim otherwise. Likewise, the “Models” part of the equation suggests we ain’t going to be perusing a selection of ugly randos selling pussy behind 7-11. As strongly implied by the title, NYCEscortModels.com is a directory of escort classified ads all over New York City. We’ve come a long fucking way from the old days of Craigslist and Backpage ads, which makes for better pickings and an easier time finding exactly what you’re looking for. I’m free this evening, so I figured I’d take a look around and see if I can find something or somebody to do a little later. Wish me luck!

HappyEscorts

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Happy Escorts! When you’re balls-deep in a porn session and are embroiled in some of the most hardcore smut around, it’s only natural for your cock to start looking you in the eye and saying shit like, ‘’Hey, man! Why don’t we take this shit out of the realm of pixels and into the world of reality? I need some real pussy!’’ As much fun as porn is, combining it with the real thing is often 10x better. I mean, why just watch Adriana Chechik getting double-penetrated in both holes at once when you can slide your dick in a ravenous whore’s pussy while she reaches back and pounds her ass with a BBC dildo? Why watch an 18-year-old cumslut take copious amounts of cum on her face in a Bukkake gangbang when it could be you painting a chick’s face with man fat? I know, I know! You’re probably going to say that finding chicks who are willing to do shit like this is far more complicated than just putting your favorite erotic content into the search engine of a porn tube site. However, what if there was a search engine for IRL sluts who are eager to do all of your wildest porn fantasies IRL, provided that you hand over enough cash? Luckily, there is! Spread across the internet is a plethora of escort search engines that allow you to stay on one site and navigate an entire world of active sex workers rather than going from site to site according to the country you’re looking for escorts in. But while these sites might sound like a horny fucker’s dream come true, there are a few stumbling blocks to be aware of. As with anything, it’s fair to say that not all of these sites are created with equal levels of quality. While some have the potential of being a virtual map that’ll direct you between the hypnotic thighs of some of the world’s naughtiest hookers, others will be the online equivalent of the old bait and switch in a notorious red light district, such as London’s Soho (before the hipsters arrived). But to protect you from the latter and guide your horny ass into the former, The Porn Dude is here! I’ve been hunting down every last escort search engine and directory to give you a balls-deep insight into each and pull no punches on which sites are badass and which are dead in the water. Today, the hunt continues as we prepare to spread the virtual legs of Happyescorts.com and see what it has to offer!

KittyAds

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Somebody sent me a link to Kitty Ads this morning, and I could barely contain my excitement. I’d been meaning to adopt a feline companion for some time now, a furry, purring little thing to keep me company since I’m no longer allowed to bring my laptop to Starbucks after the last incident. Imagine my surprise when the website wasn’t a directory of clawed animals waiting to be adopted, but of adult humans waiting to be fucked. Fortunately, it looks like there are more than a few cougars that might be down for some petting later… That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: KittyAds.com is a free directory of adult classified ads. The site’s been around for a few years and gets hundreds of thousands of visitors per month. It seems like a healthy volume of traffic, but the question with escort sites is how well those numbers translate to selection in your area. I’ve still got a few more days before my next visit from a pornstar on the PornDudeCasting couch, so it seemed like a good moment to go looking for a new friend—at least for the evening.

Exotic Africa

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Do you need an escort to fill that lonely void of your life but do not know where to turn? Or you want a certain type of beauty that will get you off? What about an African goddess? Then I invite you to check out Exotic Africa! This is where you will find all kinds of African escorts around Africa that are certain to make you excited as hell and feel like a new person again. This is where you are going to find it all, so take a fucking look and see what is going on here on Exotic Africa!

Exotic Nigeria

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Ahh, Nigeria! Unfortunately, it’s a substantial African nation that is often tarred by stereotypes and misunderstandings by misinformed folk. When one thinks of Nigeria, one usually thinks of fraudsters, instability, and some genuinely bizarre news headlines like the Nigerian dude who burned his own house down because his wife refused to cook him fish for dinner. Jesus, dude! But one of the most underreported things about Nigeria is how downright smoking hot their women are. Seriously, this African country is home to some of the finest ebony sluts on the continent, and many of them are down to fuck all night and as hard as your dick can handle! But before you instantly book a plane ticket to Lagos and pack a bag full of condoms, lube, and audaciously large sex toys, hold your horny horses! Nigeria has a lot of slutty women, but it also has a strong Christian and Muslim population. You don’t want to approach some prudish religious chick and foolishly ask her to sit on your face in exchange for some crisp Nigerian Naira notes and land yourself in the middle of a cross-cultural shitstorm, do you? Of course, you don’t! That’s why you must rely on established Nigerian escort sites to flawlessly navigate the country’s sex scene without curb-crawling the mean streets of Lagos. However, not to draw upon that ol’ fraudster stereotype, but some of these sites will scam you. This isn’t just a Nigerian issue; it’s a global one. There are plenty of escort sites eager to separate hard-dicked men from their hard-earned cash, but this is where I come in! As a connoisseur of Nigerian pussy, I’ve certainly been around when it comes to finding the finest Nigerian sluts to dip my dick into, and, in the process, I’ve come face to face with some damn fine sites and some outright shitty ones which will catfish and scam you. But do you think I’d keep my ebony pussy-hunting secrets to myself and not share them with my fellow sex enthusiasts? Hell no! I’ve made it a priority to share my mission through each and every escort site in Nigeria and keep you informed about which ones are a great way to get your dick wetter than the Benue River and those which are best avoided like a $4 hooker in Lagos offering sex bareback for a 0.13 cent premium on top. Today, the site I want to introduce you to is one called Exoticnigeria.com. It claims to be the path to finding the most alluring Nigerian pussy imaginable and being home to some of the finest African hookers on the continent. But is it true, or is it as real as an email from an African prince telling you they have $189 billion to transfer into your bank account? Let’s find out!